


First Kiss, First Death

by aphenglandstan



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Funeral, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, No Dialogue, This is actually p old, i just refound it and I was like “huh I think I’ll post it”, if I can post this you can do anything 💞💝💓💕💘💖💗
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22900024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphenglandstan/pseuds/aphenglandstan
Summary: Ash Ketchum died young. Gary’s left with the memories.
Relationships: Ookido Shigeru | Gary Oak/Satoshi | Ash Ketchum
Kudos: 34





	First Kiss, First Death

**Author's Note:**

> This is old. Just found it. Enjoy.

Ash Ketchum was far too young to die. Only 15. Yet he was gone. And Gary kept beating himself up over it. If he were there, he probably could've stopped Ash from doing such a stupid thing. One of his Pokémon might've been able to catch Ash. He could've saved him.

The weather was fitting at the funeral. Rainy and gloomy and gray. Even the sky mourned the loss of Ash. The world without him just lost its color. As he stood in the rain, surrounded by all of Ash's loved ones, he'd never felt more alone. Gary couldn't decide whether he was sad or mad or what. He wanted to cry until his eyes forgot what it was like to be dry. He wanted to scream until his throat was sorer than his heart. But he couldn't do any of that. And he didn't do any of that. He watched, stoic as they lowered Ash's body into the ground.

He looked around at everyone and wondered if anyone had known Ash the way that Gary had. And he'd known that none of them did.

They weren't the ones who Ash had lied on the roof with and kissed, alone with each other in such a private moment, not even their Pokémon watching. They weren't the ones who Ash had experimented with at sleepovers and held hands with and forgot the rest of the world existed with and it wasn't fair that Ash wasn't with him. It wasn't fair that Ash didn't get to see anymore sunsets with him- or with anyone. It wasn't fair that they'd never gotten to go on a journey together because Ash had promised and they'd linked pinkies and kissed and told each other that it **would** happen. But Gary wouldn't get it. It wouldn't happen. And Gary just felt so helpless- so worthless, without Ash there by his side, because he knew that Ash would never be by his side again.

And Ash never even got the chance to tell anyone about them. Ash had wanted to tell the world that they were dating, and Gary said to wait until they were /both/ at Pallet Town. But Gary didn't even get to see him in person again until after Ash died. And he just couldn't tell anyone. It would've been what Ash wanted, but Gary's vocal chords just refused to work. He wanted to keep those memories- to clutch them to his chest. He wanted to remember his Ash as _his_ Ash. A part of Ash that no-one got to see but Gary.

At the reception, he felt like he didn't even own his own body. Like he was just floating above, barely living on the cheese and salami and pepperoni platters. That was something that Ash would love about the funeral. Ash always loved to eat- and Gary liked to watch him eat. Which sounded creepy, but Ash always looked so happy. And at ease. And it was tiring to travel, so Gary knew that he more than deserved the break. Gary sighed at the stupid little memory, but didn't dismiss it from his head.

Ash's mom asked if anyone had anything they wanted to say about Ash, and Gary couldn't even stop himself from going up there and taking the microphone. All of those emotions he had been keeping in burst out as he told everyone everything- minus the, rather inappropriate for a funeral experimenting part, of course- and when he wavered to just cry, Mrs. Ketchum pulled Gary to her chest, hushing him and telling him that he would be okay someday. And Gary really hoped and prayed that she was right.


End file.
